i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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