And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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