He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
