barbara walters just said penis...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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