go do what you do best...puke behind churches
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
