the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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