I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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