new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
there is glitter all over my balls
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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