my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
