I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize