He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
