Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize