Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
