No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize