No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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