there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
