Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
