grandma shit on top of the toilet
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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