There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
