I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
