Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
