So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
