Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
