like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
