I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
