what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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