Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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