Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
