I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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