and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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