Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
