If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
