Me. At least after what I've been through.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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