Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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