East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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