I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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