Screwed.edu
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
