he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
