I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
