Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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