I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize