yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
