I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Randomize
