Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize