i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
