If i come over, it means nothing
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
