people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
