hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
