I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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