I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
