Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I believe in your delicious
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
