he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
