Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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