you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize