There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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