We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
