Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
