hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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