My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
