My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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