I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
