she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
