no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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