My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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