is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
