My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
