Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
