so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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