As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
