I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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