I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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