They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
