took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
