There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
